How Much Masturbation is Too Much Masturbation?

Question: How Much Masturbation is Too Much Masturbation?

I need help. On your site it says that masturbation is great and healthy and everything, but then it also says that you can do it too much. But no one tells me how much masturbation is too much. Basically I do it at least once a day, mostly in bed, and sometimes more. I don’t have a girlfriend right now, and I don’t want to damage anything down there. Can you just tell me yes or no, is masturbating once a day too much?

 

Answer:

I wish I could answer your question easily, but masturbation isn’t like eating right, the FDA doesn’t offer us a "daily allowance" for masturbation (which is a good thing too, because I’m sure they’d give us some low ball number). Masturbation, like all of sex, is related to many things, physical, emotional, psychological, social, spiritual…the list goes on. So there’s never one answer to the question how much masturbation is too much masturbation or what qualifies as over masturbation.

This isn’t to say that you won’t find people who will give you a simple answer to your complicated question. The question of how much masturbation is too much has been the focus of some people’s life’s work, dozens of books, and countless religious tracts and sermons. Some say masturbation is terrible, some say masturbation is okay, but only when you’re young and single, and some tell you the truth, which is that masturbation is perfectly healthy and an important part of sexual health. With all these conflicting messages what is most important is that you do exactly what you’re doing right now; ask the question for yourself.

Too much masturbation can’t be determined only from the number of times you’re masturbating in a day or week. You need to dig deeper, and you can start by asking yourself some other questions about your masturbation habits:

• Is your masturbation causing you distress?
• Is your masturbation causing (unwanted) physical pain or damage?
• Is your masturbation getting in the way of your life in unwanted ways?
• Do you find yourself literally unable to stop masturbating?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, then I would say it’s possible (but still not definite) that you are masturbating too much right now. This doesn’t mean that there aren’t other times in your life when masturbating everyday would be perfectly fine. It also doesn’t mean that there aren’t people out there who masturbate everyday (or more) and who are completely healthy and have no reason to masturbate less. Remember, there isn’t a magic number, and we all use sex differently.

If you do think you’re masturbating too much (that is if your masturbation is causing you distress, or pain, or it feels compulsive, or it’s getting in the way of your daily life) it may be something you want to talk to a professional about. Be sure it’s someone who is comfortable talking about sex and isn’t going to make you feel bad for your healthy sexual expression. If you need some help finding a certified sexuality professional in your area you can visit the American Association of Sexuality Educators Counselors Therapist Website, where they offer a referral list.

Source : http://sexuality.about.com

Overcoming Sexual Performance Anxiety

Erection Problems During Sex

QUESTION:
I've been with my boyfriend Mark for two years now. 99% of the time I bottom during sex, but when I try and top I lose my erection. It's very embarrassing and Mark gets upset because he thinks it's him. I feel a little awkward being the aggressive "top" and that urge that the rest of the guys in the world seem to have so strongly just kind of isn't there for me. Should I just accept that I'm a bottom?

ANSWER:
A mind is a terrible thing to take to bed with you, it only gets in the way. When having sex, crank up your physical desire, set the mood, turn up the passion and emotions; but leave your thoughts on the nightstand. Now, of course for all of you single fellas out there, you need to train your brain to pull out the condoms and set limits for safety; but for couples looking for candy, like you Billy, you have to let go of your inhibitions.

It's not that you're a born bottom, even though that's the position you prefer; it's that you're over thinking what it means to be a top. You're associating top with "aggressive" and "dominant," which is not you. So the thought of performing is creating anxiety, the erection's worst enemy.

Sure, the top tends to be the most dominate in the moment, but this isn't cinema; there are no awards for top performance. You don't need to be or act a certain way for your partner to enjoy you topping. Just be you.

Here are a few tips on how to overcome sexual performance anxiety:

Talk To Your Man
What you think your partner wants may not be what he actually wants. Lessen the pressure of living up to contrived expectations by having a fully-clothed chat with your man about what you both want and need. Cory Silverberg, About.com's Guide To Sexuality says "communicating with a partner is hugely important in reducing these expectations and anxieties."

Ditch The Misconceptions
Not all tops have dominant personalities and not all bottom are submissive. You can lessen your anxiety by reducing the pressure to fill a certain role. Instead of loving in the labels, experiment with what feels good.

Keep A Positive Attitude
Sex Education Correspondent David Strovny writes, "Performance anxiety affects almost everyone, from the beginner to the most seasoned professional; you're not a freak and you're definitely not alone." David's advice is solid. A down mood or limp attitude can sag your soldier, especially if you've accepted defeat before the battle even begins. Relax and know that you'll be able to perform.

Practice
Practice doesn't make perfect; practice makes habits. Most tops don't just stick and go. Any top worthy of his crown starts slow and builds momentum. He knows how to relax his partner and at the same time excite himself. Experiment with your man and practice. Tickle, kiss, lick, and do until you find out what has him eager to flip. Then take your time and focus on his pleasure. The more he gets into it, the more excited you'll get. Drive him to the moment where he practically begs for more attention, then give him what he wants. And trust me, by that time your soldier will know just what to do.  

Source : http://gaylife.about.com

Gay Sex For The First Time

Good Sex Takes Time

QUESTION:
I'm in my mid-twenties and I'm a virgin. I've been intimate before with both girls and guys but have never gone all the way. I'm dating this great guy right now and I'm not sure how to tell him. I don't want him to run from my lack of experience. My friends have advised me just to hook up with someone random so I can avoid this awkward situation but that's not me.  I want to be with someone I really care about and I think this guy could be it.

ANSWER :
Going out and getting one under your belt, sort of speak, may help you get over the awkwardness of the first time, but it won't teach you how to be a good lover. Why? The best sex is had when your guard is down; when there is just you and him and the feeling. You'll already be anxious as a newbie and it's easier to relax with someone you know than it is with a stranger. Forget about a quick hook up; let the guy you like help guide you. If you focus on getting it right instead of just getting it done, he won't care that you're a newbie.

Here's how:

Tell him it's your first time. This is important because he may jump in for the feel without realizing that you need a little more warm up. Let him know that he needs to take it easy and be gentle.

Turn it into a game. You have a lot to discover. Turn your foreplay into a fun game of Dorian The Explorer. Have him search the terrain of your body with his hands, tongue and lips. Every inch. The goal is for him (but mainly you) to find what turns you on. Tell him when he gets to the spot(s) that you enjoy the most. Have him spend some time there. Switch. Now you explore his body. Be honest and vocal about what you like and don't like.

Take your time. Too many guys want to race down the Autobahn of foreplay. Get in the slow lane and let your body and senses warm up. You're not riding solo here, take your time and let your senses go crazy on a long road trip to the end. Set the scene to where there is nothing but you, him and all of the time you need.

Let go. Sex is oftentimes awkward and sometimes funny as you gain complete confidence in yourself and your partner. Go with the flow. Try not to get anxious. There is no one right way to do it. And it's too early to get bogged down in labels (Am I a top or bottom?) or to think that you have to be or act or perform in a certain way. You don't even have to go "all the way" if you don't want. Just be you and let your body show you where to go.

Finally, be safe. Be sure to wrap it up and know your limits. I still hear some people talk of HIV as if it's just a long-term illness. Well, it's not; it's an incurable virus that causes complications that can lead to more serious complications including death and exorbitant medical bills. Don't believe the hype; believe the facts and protect yourself.

Happy exploring, my friend. Relax, take a deep breath, keep your mind in the moment and let your body take control.

Source : http://gaylife.about.com