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Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Nine Things To Know About Male Sexuality



There's a myth that male sexuality is simple. The reality is that (in public at least) men talk and write less about sexuality than anyone, and the result is that there is a great deal of ignorance about male sexuality. Here is a crash course on key aspects of male sexuality that everyone should know about.

 

Penis Size Isn't A Simple Measure


Most men worry about the size of their penis at some point their lives. Sadly, they usually do this with little understanding of what the average penis size is. While some women report that penis size does matter, most people agree that penis size isn’t nearly as important as things like overall sexual interest, sexual technique, and sexual compatibility. All things that have much more to do with the organ between ones ears than the one between ones legs.

 

Men Don't Always Want Sex


The stereotype of male sexuality is that men always want sex. This stereotype is so ingrained in men that many act it out, engaging in sex when they don’t really feel like it just because it is expected of them. The fact is that there are many times when men don’t feel like having sex, and this doesn’t always indicate a “problem”. Low libido may be caused by physical or psychological factors, but it can also be a reasonable reaction to life’s stressors.

 

Men Can Have Multiple Orgasms


Because most men learn to stimulate themselves to orgasm with ease, they tend to think they’ve learned it all by the time their 19. In reality, most men only experience a small percentage of their orgasmic potential. One example are male multiple orgasms. Just like many (but not all) women, many men can learn to become multi-orgasmic.

 

Men can control ejaculation (most of the time).


While most men experience problems with ejaculation at some point in their lives, many don’t know that the timing of ejaculation can be controlled, most of the time, with relatively simple exercises. There are many myth about premature ejaculation and these can be difficult to overcome. But getting a better understanding of male sexual response, and learning to control ejaculation, can also lead to a greater experience of sexual pleasure.

 

Men can (and do) use sex toys.


There is a myth that sex toys (vibrators in particular) are for women, and that they are like a stand-in for men. The fact is that sex toys don’t replace people, they do things none of us can, and the pleasure they facilitate can be for men as much as women. Sex toys can provide incredibly intense stimulation, unlike anything a man has experienced, and using sex toys with a partner can open up all sorts of new possibilities.

 

Men Do Have Some Special Buttons


While not all men like having it pressed, it’s true that the prostate gland can be a source of intense sexual pleasure for men. Often referred to as the “male g spot” or the “p-spot” (a term that seems seriously unsexy to me), prostate stimulation, done either externally by massaging the perineum, or internally through penetration, can open up a new world to men who believe there’s only one way for them to experience sexual pleasure.

 

Anal Pleasure Is For All Men


Many heterosexual men still think that if they are interested in exploring anal pleasure it means they are gay. This is a false idea based on homophobic beliefs. Anal play won’t make you gay but it may make you very excited. In addition to prostate stimulation, many heterosexual couples are exploring the physical and psychological pleasure of reversing traditional sexual and gender roles. However they do it, once they discover the pleasure of anal play most men never look back.

 

Masturbation is good for men.


Parents often give boys mixed messages about masturbation. They may say “it’s dirty” bit they also say “boys will be boys”. As a result almost all men masturbate throughout their lives, but often do so with feelings of ambivalence. And they rarely talk about their masturbation. Many of the secrets to a man’s desires can be found in the way he masturbates, and men who are good at pleasuring themselves can teach their partners what turns them on while exploring new ways to masturbate.

 

Male sexuality isn’t simple


This is the single most harmful myth about male sexuality. Because men’s genitalia are external, because they can usually get themselves off easily, because in the west we’re told that men have it “better” than women (as if there were only two genders on the planet) it is assumed that there is nothing new to know about male sexuality. As a result, one could argue that men are among the least sexually evolved and have to work extra hard to discover their own sexual potential. But it’s there!

Source : http://gaylife.about.com

Monday, July 25, 2011

Aware 2 Swear





What’s Wrong With Male Sexuality


Myths About Male Sexuality

 Man’s sex lives are full of lies. It’s true that we live in a patriarchy, and it may be true that it’s a man’s world, but when it comes to sex, men lose out big time. This might seem a surprising statement. After all the entire multi-billion dollar sex industry is designed around male sexual fantasies. Popular surveys of sexual behaviors suggest that men get a lot more than they give in the bedroom, and men usually have equal or greater sexual satisfaction ratings when asked in scientific surveys. So what could be so bad about male sexuality?

In a nutshell, male sexuality is almost entirely an unexamined phenomenon, and it is based on many assumptions which have been accepted as fact by both the scientific community and the general public. And the problem is that if men don’t start asking themselves the hard (and sometimes soft) questions about their own sex lives, it’s never going to improve. Consider some of the major myths about male sexuality:

Male sexuality is the norm

Male sexuality is the yards stick by which sex in general is defined. The problem is that everyone assumes they know what a yard stick is, and no one bothers to look at it carefully. We need to notice the lines on it, how its weathered in some places, and untouched in others. We need to measure it not by relying on its own superficial markings of inches and feet, but by taking other measuring tools (maybe a compass, or a protractor) and looking at it out of context. 

Because male sexuality is the norm, it’s never questioned. This is a problem because male sexuality is as complicated as female sexuality and needs to be questioned.

Male sexuality is tolerated

In the West, male sexuality is tolerated to a much greater degree than female sexuality. From an early age we hear the familiar refrain “boys will be boys” which allows young men to explore their sexuality in silence and semi-secret (we all know they do it, but we don’t talk about it). Because of this covert collusion, there are fewer obvious barriers for male sexuality to develop. 

This is a problem because obstacles are what make us move and stretch ourselves out. And because we still live in a relatively sex negative culture, having no barriers doesn’t mean uninhibited growth, it means taking the path of least resistance. The result is men never even get a chance to conceive of their sexual options, they take what they get and assume it’s the best there is.

Male sexuality is obvious, visible, “out there”

This is another way of saying that male sexuality is all about the penis. This is possibly the most persistent and inaccurate statement about male sexuality, and one that does the greatest damage. That’s right, the penis may be male sexuality’s greatest nemesis! Men’s genitalia is external and most men learn to masturbate, ejaculate, and orgasm at a young age without any help or instruction, making male sexual response something that comes easy (no pun intended). 

Because male sexuality seems to flow freely, it is assumed that there’s nothing remarkable about it, and nothing more to know about it. Freud most famously suggested that male sexuality was simple but female sexuality was something beyond even his comprehension. In this case Freud got it wrong. Male sexuality is simple because we approach it as simpletons.

Male sexuality is straight (in more ways than one).

This is another classic assumption about male sexuality, and one that is “proven” by the fact that we all follow the rules. Ignoring an important Greek philosopher here and there, it is generally accepted modern notion that while women may have some “natural” bisexual leaning, men are mostly straight. 

There are of course gay men, but they’re “different” and either 2% or 10% of the population, depending on which radio station you listen to. So when we talk as a culture about male sexuality, we’re almost always talking about what we think of as heterosexual male sexuality, which is a narrow concept involving penile-vaginal intercourse preceded by minimal foreplay and oral sex.

This is a problem because it’s not true. In reality, men want to do all sorts of things sexually and they often do them not just with women. Whether it is the early data of Alfred Kinsey who asked men about their same sex experiences growing up, or the wide range of programs geared to men who have sex with men (MSM) a group at high risk for HIV/AIDS, who do not identify as gay, but still enjoy sex with men, male sexual behaviors are far more varied and kinky than we generally acknowledge, which in turn limits what many men feel is okay to explore. 


Source : http://gaylife.about.com

Overcoming Sexual Performance Anxiety


Erection Problems During Sex


QUESTION:
I've been with my boyfriend Mark for two years now. 99% of the time I bottom during sex, but when I try and top I lose my erection. It's very embarrassing and Mark gets upset because he thinks it's him. I feel a little awkward being the aggressive "top" and that urge that the rest of the guys in the world seem to have so strongly just kind of isn't there for me. Should I just accept that I'm a bottom?


ANSWER:
A mind is a terrible thing to take to bed with you, it only gets in the way. When having sex, crank up your physical desire, set the mood, turn up the passion and emotions; but leave your thoughts on the nightstand. Now, of course for all of you single fellas out there, you need to train your brain to pull out the condoms and set limits for safety; but for couples looking for candy, like you Billy, you have to let go of your inhibitions.

It's not that you're a born bottom, even though that's the position you prefer; it's that you're over thinking what it means to be a top. You're associating top with "aggressive" and "dominant," which is not you. So the thought of performing is creating anxiety, the erection's worst enemy.


Sure, the top tends to be the most dominate in the moment, but this isn't cinema; there are no awards for top performance. You don't need to be or act a certain way for your partner to enjoy you topping. Just be you.



Here are a few tips on how to overcome sexual performance anxiety:

Talk To Your Man
What you think your partner wants may not be what he actually wants. Lessen the pressure of living up to contrived expectations by having a fully-clothed chat with your man about what you both want and need. Cory Silverberg, About.com's Guide To Sexuality says "communicating with a partner is hugely important in reducing these expectations and anxieties."

Ditch The Misconceptions
Not all tops have dominant personalities and not all bottom are submissive. You can lessen your anxiety by reducing the pressure to fill a certain role. Instead of loving in the labels, experiment with what feels good.

Keep A Positive Attitude
Sex Education Correspondent David Strovny writes, "Performance anxiety affects almost everyone, from the beginner to the most seasoned professional; you're not a freak and you're definitely not alone." David's advice is solid. A down mood or limp attitude can sag your soldier, especially if you've accepted defeat before the battle even begins. Relax and know that you'll be able to perform.

Practice
Practice doesn't make perfect; practice makes habits. Most tops don't just stick and go. Any top worthy of his crown starts slow and builds momentum. He knows how to relax his partner and at the same time excite himself. Experiment with your man and practice. Tickle, kiss, lick, and do until you find out what has him eager to flip. Then take your time and focus on his pleasure. The more he gets into it, the more excited you'll get. Drive him to the moment where he practically begs for more attention, then give him what he wants. And trust me, by that time your soldier will know just what to do.  

Source : http://gaylife.about.com